Ever had of toxic positivity, take a read…

Hello loves,
Being aware and in control of your mental health is a sound enough thing to do. I have written an article about mental health, if you haven’t read it here is the link So what about mental health…Being positive is a great thing; quite frankly, I think you are the source of your motivation and being positive plays a major role in that. However, while I want to support the notion that you should always stay positive, I would like to caution you against becoming a toxically positive person. There is a thin line between positivity and toxic positivity and we will get to know just how thin it can be.

Ever had of the phrase, ‘good vibes only?’ Yeah, I know both you and I are victims of this phrase. It is an attempt by us to keep our heads above the water sometimes when we want to block out all the drama and negativity. What if I told you that completely blocking out the negativity is not a wise thing to do… Okay, before you arm yourself with your daggers and knives understand this, ‘whenever you block out things like negativity and drama, you are a thin line away from toxic positivity.’ Before we explain how we land in that space of toxic positivity, I think it would be wise to define the term ‘Toxic Positivity.’

Toxic positivity is a situation (that soon becomes a habit) when you develop this habit of portraying happiness no matter what. Ideally, you block out any and everything that can bring negativity and pain. Now, that we know the meaning, let us explore some of the phrases used by people who suffer from toxic positivity. ‘positive vibes/ good vibes only,’ ‘you’ll be fine,’ ‘it’s nothing,’ ‘think happy thoughts,’ ‘see the good in everything.’ Of all the phrases that I have just mentioned, am sure you will find one that fits into what you say in most situations; all of us are victims. We even have friends whom we encourage with such phrases and its not a bad thing, it’s just not also a good thing.

Whenever I am faced with difficult situations, sometimes I beat myself about it, I may even feel sad, distressed or at times, depressed that this should happen to me at all. Let’s face it, sometimes staying positive all the time can be an uphill task. And that’s where the separation between positivity and toxic positivity can appear. A person suffering from toxic positivity tends to at all moments ‘smile, be happy,’ that sort of thing. Come back down to earth! There are days when you will feel you are winning and there are days when you will feel that you ‘just can’t!’ I am not saying that you should wallow in your deficiencies; I am saying that it is good to go through such phases and allow your self to feel them. If you always want to block out the negativity, you become someone who is in denial of reality and thus, come off as struggling with finding identity in things and yourself. Accepting those bad situations and things have happened to you does not mean that you are doomed rather, it means you can move on to finding a sustainable solution.

When I say both you and me are victims, I mean that no one is exceptional. Some people strive so much to show us that their lives are so amazing and while, they may truly be, this does not mean that there are never dull moments. Even celebrities who play roles of extremely happy and positive people in your favourite movie, series or programme, will admit that they can’t stay happy all the time, that there are times that they have felt down or disappointed in themselves. Another downside is that, it is a very difficult lifestyle to maintain. With all the lurches that life presents, I would say it’s a  dangerous thing to stay happy always so quit telling yourself ‘positive vibes always,’ you cannot always push everything that is negative to the back of your mind.

Life is a ball of so many mixed things. There are thoughts, actions and words all intertwined with strangers, family and friends. You will not always find good people and things everywhere you go but you can also, find your footing in such places. Much like a coin, life has a positive side and a negative side. If you only focus on the positive side and shut out the negative you become a facade, one whom everyone sees right through. Emotions are not always a bad thing. Allow yourself to feel the shame, guilt, disappointment and sadness but do not wallow in it, eventually move on to a lasting solution and you will find that with time, these emotions become less and less.

Have ever become a victim of toxic positivity? How did you get out of it?

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Till next time, cheers!